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Stage 3, Part 1 of the Academic Writing Guide

Writing a Draft

Time to read and complete activities = 1 hours

In this stage of the Academic Writing Guide you will be working towards the following aims and objectives:

AIMS

1. To complete a first draft of your essay making sure to incorporate lessons learned from previous stages in the Academic Writing Guide about good academic practice, research and writing style.
 

2. To reflect on your learning to support the continued development of your academic skills.

OBJECTIVES

1. To show that you understand how to:

  • produce a clear and logical argument in your essay that fits the context of the essay question and allows your voice to be heard.

  • support your argument(s) with appropriate academic sources.

  • present your ideas and arguments in a clear, accurate, well-structured and concise style that suits the essay conventions of your discipline

  • ensure that your in-text citations and bibliographic entries are accurately written using your chosen referencing system.

 

2. To learn how to interpret a Turnitin report and consider how you might need to act on the information it contains about your essay.

The First Draft

The first draft of your essay is informed by the detailed sentence outline and argument you have already prepared. If you keep to these, the first draft should be relatively quick to write.


Keep your writing style simple. If other ideas crop up while you’re writing make notes in a separate document and insert them later. You are writing for someone who is familiar with the subject and interested in what you have to say. Make your writing clear, knowledgeable, persuasive and enjoyable.


Provide your reader with signposts. If your plan is detailed, you have already decided what information is going where. Concentrate on making sure each paragraph contains an idea that elaborates a different aspect of your argument. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that tells your reader what you’re going to argue. As you write, include section headings as signposts. You can take them out later, but they help keep you focussed.


The most important point to remember about this stage of the process is that it is the first draft! Try to resist revising and editing at this point. It is an unnecessary distraction and may result in you losing the structure and flow of your writing. Once you have got the first draft down on paper you will be in a better position to identify what needs to be changed, developed and improved.
 

Paragraphing and Topic Sentences

You’ve looked at ways of making sure you have a clear line of argument in your essay and that your introduction and conclusion are connected. Now that you are ready to start writing the first draft of your essay you need to think about the sequence of ideas in the main body and how they fit together to create a coherent and cohesive essay.

 

Paragraphs are the building blocks of your essay and effective paragraphing is a key skill in academic writing. Think of them as bite-sized chunks into which you break your argument to help your reader. Good paragraphing helps your reader think about what you have written. Every paragraph is a building block or a unit of organisation in your argument as a whole. Paragraphs can be structured in many different ways and there are no hard and fast rules about how to do this. What matters is that you convey your idea clearly to your reader. Understanding some of the features of a good paragraph can provide you with a good foundation, however.

 

An essay paragraph often has four main elements that can mirror the overall essay structure:

  1. A topic sentence and development of the point. The idea expressed in the topic sentence is the controlling idea of the paragraph, and everything else in the paragraph will relate to it (in the same way that the thesis statement is the controlling idea in the essay, and every paragraph in the essay relates to it).

  2. Evidence from your source(s), including summary, paraphrase and/or quotations, that support the idea in the topic sentence.

  3. Your analysis and explanation of the evidence.

  4. A concluding sentence.

 

Using the acronym PEEL can a useful way to prompt yourself to include these elements, which in turn can help keep your paragraphs focussed on your argument.

Point:

• Introduce the main point/idea of this paragraph.
• Make an assertion that’s part of your larger claim.
• Use a topic sentence to help your reader know what they are about to read.

Evidence:

  • Support your point with evidence and examples.

  • • Don’t make any unsubstantiated claims.

Evaluation:

  • Explain how the evidence you have provided supports the point you are making and shows the reader that it is a plausible one.

  • Don’t just add a quote or cite a source without an explanation as your reader may interpret it differently than you intended, and your point won’t be evidenced in the way you intended.

Link:

  • Make a link to your argument and show how this point and the supporting evidence you have provided help establish your argument. You don’t need to say ‘this idea is important to my claim because…’ but your reader needs to gain a sense of how the paragraph fits with your overall argument.

  • Make links across paragraphs to establish your line of argument.

Re-read the paragraph from the example essay 'Critically consider psychological explanations for the acquisition of phobias. Justify your answer with reference to theoretical and empirical evidence from relevant literature' and decide:

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  1. How has the writer organised their ideas in this paragraph? Is it effective? Label the PEEL structure.

  2. Are there any parts of this paragraph that do not directly address the essay question?

  3. Is there anything ‘missing’ from this paragraph that you think is needed?

  4. What changes would you make to this paragraph to improve it?

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One of the key psychological explanations of phobias is that of the behaviourist approach. This approach suggests that phobias are acquired through associating an object or situation with a negative response through classical or operant conditioning, meaning that the phobic response is a learned behaviour. One example of this is the classical conditioning study conducted by Watson and Rayner (1920) known as the ‘Little Albert’ experiment. The purpose of this study was to attempt to condition a fear response in an 11-month-old child through exposure to a particular stimulus, which in this case was a white rat. Watson and Rayner (1920) presented the rat to the child while at the same time sounding a loud, frightening noise by hitting a metal bar. As the experiment developed, exposure to the rat by itself would induce ‘Albert’ to cry, even without the horrible noise. The infant then demonstrated a fear response to other white objects aside from the rat such as cotton wool, meaning the fear response became ‘generalised ‘. It’s obvious that the phobia in this case developed from negative experiences, which supports the behaviourist explanation for the acquisition of phobias. However, not every individual with a phobia can identify such a negative experience or trigger for their phobia. In addition, this study focuses on only one individual, and therefore the findings can’t be applied to the general population. As well as this, the fact that the results were achieved within a laboratory setting also means they may not be applicable to a real life scenario. Furthermore, I think questions arise with regards to the ethical considerations of this study, the results of which could not be replicated today due to changes in the awareness of the right of the participants.

Answers 1. There is a clear topic sentence, explanation & support and sources. But no summary sentence to link back to the essay question. The PEEL structure has been followed, but without a summary. 2. There’s a bit too much description of the experiment – this could be reduced. Ethical considerations are not relevant to this essay. 3. ‘However, not every individual with a phobia can identify such a negative experience or trigger for their phobia.’ This is a great point, but there’s no evidence or support!

One way of creating coherence in your essay is to use words and phrases that show your reader not only how the various ideas in your essay fit together, but also make it clear when you are moving from one idea to the next. Writers use transitional devices within paragraphs or between paragraphs so that ideas flow smoothly between sentences and between paragraphs. A transitional device is like a bridge between parts of your paper. Open this link to see a list of transitional devices that you could use in your own essay.
 

Transitional devices can help link your paragraphs together, making it easier for your reader to follow your line of argument. Open this link to the Manchester Academic Phrasebank to find academic phrases which signal transition that you can use in your own essay.
 

Academic Style and Academic Voice

A writer's voice - or argument - is evident in the way they introduce and interpret the evidence that supports their points. Paraphrased material shouldn’t dominate the paragraph. If a writer overuses their sources it may read as a string of quotes, without a ‘voice’ to tie them together or turn them into an argument. Instead, it becomes a description of what other people have said. When incorporating the ideas and/or words of others into your writing you must incorporate those ideas and words into your argument. Rather than describing, you need to interpret and give an indication of why others’ words or ideas are significant to your argument (the ‘evaluation’ part to PEEL).
 

Adapted from: Uni Learning (2000) University of Wollongong.

Academic Writing Guide Task

TASK

Open the Author Voice document and read the two original paragraphs in the left-hand column. Decide:

  • Is it easy to identify the author’s voice?

  • Is the writer’s position clear?

  • Is the text cohesive?

  • Is it easy to understand the relationship between the ideas?

  • Are the ideas linked to show the reader why the sources are relevant?

 

Read the two revised paragraphs in the right-hand column and notice the evidence of author voice or opinion in red. Think about how each of the revised paragraphs presents the content material in a smoother, more cohesive way. Rather than focusing on the sources, what do they focus on instead?

REFLECTION

Stop and reflect on what you have learned so far in this stage. How will what you have learned support your continued essay writing development? Are there any skills you have identified at this stage that you can do well or need to improve on?

Two Features of Academic Writing to Enhance Author Voice

1. Reporting verbs

As you have seen a writer's academic voice, or argument, is made evident in the way they introduce and interpret the evidence that supports their points. One way you can enhance your voice is by selecting the verbs you use to introduce your sources with care. ‘Reporting’ verbs differ in terms of their strength. For example, introducing your source by saying ‘author x suggests that…' is much weaker and more tentative than if you say ‘author x argues that…' The two verbs convey a very different picture of how you see your sources.

Academic Writing Guide Task

TASK

Reporting verbs are a way for you to show your attitude towards the source of information you are citing. Making such an assessment of your sources is a vital academic skill which not only helps you develop your author ‘voice,’ but also develops your critical thinking skills.

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Open this pdf and look at the range of often-used reporting verbs that you can use to introduce your sources in your own essay.

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Think about your sources you have chosen for your own essay. How will you introduce them?

  • With a verb that does not indicate any value judgement on your part?

  • With a verb that shows you have an inclination to believe something but still wish to be hesitant?

  • With a verb that shows you have strong arguments to put forward and are absolutely sure of your ground?

 

Check the Academic Phrasebank for suggestions on how to introduce the work of others. Scroll down to find sections on:

  • Some ways of introducing quotations

  • Reference to another writer’s ideas or position (author as subject)

2. Cautious or mitigating language (hedging)

A second way to enhance your voice in your academic writing is to use hedging. Hedging is a type of language use which 'protects' your claims. Using language with a suitable amount of caution can protect your claims from being easily dismissed. It also helps to indicate the level of certainty you have in relation to your supporting evidence.

Academic Writing Guide Task

TASK

Think about this statement and answer the questions that follow: Extensive reading helps students to improve their vocabulary.

 

  • Do you think this is always true?

  • Do you think age, gender, learning background, etc. influence students’ acquisition of vocabulary?

  • How big a statistical sample would you need to be able to reliably draw this conclusion?

  • How easy do you think it is to accurately establish the link between reading and vocabulary?

  • Can you think of other factors that might influence students’ vocabulary?

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Open this link and read the Text Comparison section. Answer the questions:
 

  • How many differences do you see between the first and the second text?

  • What is the function/effect/purpose of each difference?

  • Does the language used reflect some of the answers that you gave above?

 

Using the same link as above look at the list of phrases that can help you to ‘hedge’ your claims and decide if it would be useful to download the list to your own device. 

 

The Manchester Academic Phrasebank also has a good set of resources to help you introduce cautious language into your writing.

Drafting and Editing

Drafting and editing are two different activities, and it is helpful to keep them separate. With your own essay you will probably write at least one draft, and then revise and edit it. Academic writers often produce very many drafts, revising and editing each one as they proceed.

Drafting Stage 1

When you write your first draft, finding a way to get your ideas onto paper in an order that is logical to both you and your reader can be quite difficult, so it’s important not to make the process more difficult by worrying about finding the right word, or worrying about the small details. In can be better to leave a gap, which you can fill in later, instead of getting stuck. Be sure to remind yourself to go back and fill in the gap later, perhaps by putting a note in square brackets [find the word] or highlighting the section.

Drafting Stage 2

When the draft is complete put it to one side. Leave the assignment for one or two days and then read it through. Approach this stage with a critical mind – think of yourself as the first person to read the assignment.
 

Ask yourself whether the assignment:

  • Follows a logical structure.

  • Follows a clear and fully developed understanding of the issues.

  • Contains only relevant information.

  • Is properly cited and fully referenced.

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These questions can help you:

  1. Have I answered the question?

  2. Have I done what I said I would do in the introduction?

  3. Is the logical progression of the argument clear for the reader?

  4. Is there a good balance between factual detail and analysis?

  5. Are my arguments supported by evidence?

  6. Are there any errors of grammar and spelling?

  7. Is the writing style formal?

  8. Has anything important been left out?

  9. Does the Conclusion show how I have answered the question?

  10. Have I filled in any gaps that I left?

  11. Have I included all the references I need (and not left any unattributed)?

 

Make any necessary changes to your draft. Remember, you can always go back to your draft and add or remove information depending on your own reflections or based on any feedback you receive. Save each draft separately, so that if you make changes you are unhappy with you can return to an earlier draft and start again.

Using Turnitin to improve your work

In Stage 2, Part 2 of the AWG you looked at how to use the Turnitin Draft check site to get useful information from the Similarity Report. If you have access to it, use the Turnitin Draft Check site again now and submit the draft of your essay to check again.

Over to you

If you are using the AWG to help you write a discursive essay of your own, take time to write a draft essay of up to 1,500 words.

Work closely from the sentence outline you created in stage 2 and use the structure to write a draft of your essay. Your draft will allow you to test whether your plan works in practice. Don't rush the draft or allow it to become untidy and unfocused. This simply makes more work for you later. Make sure the reader knows why you are including pieces of information. Don't be afraid to leave something out if it doesn't fit. Make sure everything you write is accurate and relevant to the question.

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